Looking for something else (as you do) I found this, written for a friend’s Birthday bash a few years back.

Gentlemen, you can croon this to any sort of bluesy tune you care to make up (Think Heartbreak Hotel to get you started)

Ladies, you can croon this to your ageing menfolk to bless and encourage them 😛

Just beware the bit at the end. It’s written for maximum hamming-it-up blues stylings, so you will have to adjust the tune. I’m sure you will all manage magnificently, and if anyone wants to send me a recording, I’d love to hear it.

Well I woke up this morning and I heard my baby say

You don’t look too special, are you feeling OK?

I got the blues

I got the blues and I got ‘em bad

‘Cos I look in the mirror

I’m starting to look like my Dad

Well I looked in the mirror and confirmed my worst fears

Less hair on my head now and more in my ears

I got the blues. I got em now and they’re here to stay

I don’t want to be balding. I don’t want to be grey

Well I want to be naughty, but I’m not sure I can

I don’t want to be forty – I’m still a young man

I got the blues. I seem to have lost my libido

I’ve lost all my get up. I’ve got nowhere to go

I’d be wearing bifocals if I wasn’t so proud

I’m going so deaf I even need my shirts loud

I’ve got the blues. I’ve got the blues – have I said that before?

Not sure where I got them. I can’t remember any more

I’ve tried to be pleasant. I’ve tried to be pure

I thought it was working, but now I’m not sure

My wrinkles are showing. I’m over-mature

I’ve got the condition for which there’s no cure

Well I woke up this morning, and I’m grateful I did

‘Cos when you get to my age it’s not guaranteed

I got the blues, the low down mortality blues

You can laugh all you like now, but one day those blues are gonna get you too