Brush up your Shakespeare


Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
Hamlet had a sorry life
His Mum was now his uncle’s wife
(Not quite the thing, especially if
Your Dad is only just a stiff.)
And then his dear departed Dad
Appeared to say ‘Your uncle’s bad.’
The wicked Claudius had done
His brother in to get the throne.
The thought of what his uncle did
Nearly unhinged the poor old kid.
So thoroughly confused was he
‘To be’, he mused, ‘or not to be?’

While telling Mum her man’s felonious
He accidentally kills Polonius
As if things weren’t bad enough
He’s now upset his bit of stuff
(Polonius was Ophelia’s dad)
And she, poor girl, goes raving mad.
A little later she is found
Bouquet in hand and rather drowned.

Laertes, who’s her next of kin
Decides to do poor Hamlet in
Hamlet’s demise is now assured
There’s poison on Laertes’ sword
And Claudius, the rotten fink,
Has put some poison in his drink.
One way he’ll die, if not the other.
Unfortunately Hamlet’s mother
Drinks the drink and promptly dies
Much to everyone’s surprise.

Meanwhile, Hamlet and his foe
Have both got scratched, so down they go.
Before the Prince of Denmark snuffs it
He takes the poisoned sword and stuffs it
Into Claudius – somewhat gory.
The cast’s all dead, so ends the story.


(With thanks to for the lovely cartoon)




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