If you found a million pounds, what would you buy?
I’d inform the police, I’m sure. At least I’d try.
After a month unclaimed, I‘d get it back
They’d make me sign, and then pass me the sack
Of dosh. I’d thank them very much
Then leave, the cash held in a vice-like clutch.

On my way home I’d buy some pants and socks,
A chicken and a larger letter-box
For my front door. for all the begging mail
I’d mean to tell them no, but I would fail

Then the serious business would begin
I’d ponder long, my hand cupping my chin
A robot vacuum cleaner is a must
And a flying thing to rid the place of dust
Not sure the latter’s been invented yet
But if it had, that’s something I would get.

I’d pay the mortgage off. At last I’m free!
Rescue a donkey, have a cup of tea.
But what of larger things? A super yacht?
No thanks, I think I like the one I’ve got.

Down to almost the last nine hundred thou
I’d worry, thinking, “What do I do now?”
I’d buy things for my kith and for my kin
And things for them to keep the presents in
A bike for every nephew, every niece
My siblings would acquire a car apiece
I’d throw a party and invite my chums
And get the dog the opposable thumbs
She’s always wanted, and a little friend
A special one, with bottoms at each end

But that’s enough of me. Over to you
If you had a million pounds, what would you do?