My pet aversion’s ironing
I have a growing pile
Of shirts and shorts and sundry stuff
All wrinkly, dry and vile
Cleaning the loo is ghastly too
Dog sick is my bête noire
I just abhor it slightly more
Than hoovering the car.
I dislike airports, slugs and snobs
I can’t stand passive smoke
I don’t like things too chocolatey
I don’t like being broke
I can’t stand loud and leery drunks
The egocentric bore
Who feels the need to tell me things
he’s said ten times before
I don’t like yoofs with motorbikes
Or Mr Tony Blair
Or avocadoes, flies, B.O.
Unwanted facial hair
Solicitors who stitch you up
Repeats on BBC
Vegetables overcooked
Or sugar in my tea
Athlete’s foot and wasps
Nazis, people who are smug
And things that don’t quite rhyme
Bossy wimmin drive me nuts
Long queues are a pain
But the thing that gets me most of all
Is people who complain.