Here’s something to get you in the mood for today’s post 🙂

Can you see Captain Picard?

The wonderful world of blogging is still new and mysterious to me. Like a kitten on a snowy doorstep, I hesitate before tiptoeing carefully out into the familiar, but somehow unfamiliar landscape. I might not know what snow is, but it’s fun to caper about in it, as long as I can bolt for safety if things turn nasty.

Is that a do loop holding the round thing on?

I use the computer in the same sort of way I use a car: I can switch them on, I know roughly which buttons and controls do which things, and I don’t crash them as often as my mother does. I have only the most vague understanding of the internal combustion engine, and I don’t really know what an RS232 is. Distributors and do loops may or may not be A Good Thing. (I did have a job once, that made use of my ability to make software go horribly wrong, but I will save that story for another day.)

Since starting this blog, I have been adding tags with reckless abandon when prompted to put them at the end of each post. The freedom that ignorance bestows is a wonderful thing. Thus far, I have not seen any adverse consequences of my actions, so when the wondrous WordPress asked me if I would like a Tag Cloud, I thought “Oh, that sounds nice,” and politely said “Yes please.”

It turns out that a Tag Cloud is great! I expect there is one on the page you are looking at now. All those words I had fed into the system have been arranged neatly in alphabetical order, but sized according to how often I have used them. What fun! I can tell that I mention dog, fun and Spain more than almost anything else. That sounds about right. Housework is an unexpectedly high-ranking word, and friendship and poetry get equal billing. Sport and the beach have the tiny font they deserve.

So I think I am beginning to get an inkling of what this tag business might be about. Somewhere in the lofty echelons of the interweb, someone, or something, can look at my tabs and decide whether my blog would appeal to a beach volleyball player or not. (A resounding not.) Someone who wants housework tips might be a little disappointed when they find that most of my references to housework are to be found in my article on procrastination, but I can sort of see why tabs might be useful.

But hang on a minute! There is something far more exciting going on here. I look at the montage of blue words, and wonderful phrases begin to jump out at me. As I have said before, I enjoy words. An unusual phrase will conjure up mental images and spark off ideas that will keep me happy for hours.

I think as time passes, my Tag Cloud will probably shift and change shape, much as real clouds do. What looks just like a rabbit’s head today will be a French horn tomorrow, and that’s how it should be.

So what do I see in the cloud today?

Cage celebrity charity
Clearly, some celebrities deserve to be in cages, so maybe the charity is locking them up, rather than releasing them. Depending on which it actually is, I may send a donation. If they are locking them up, I might even get involved with fundraising.

Babyfood Friendship
My days of sharing recipes for mushed up but wholesome meals are behind me, but I can see that an on-line liquidising forum could have its appeal.

Fun Housework is clearly the ravings of a lunatic, unless it involves folding everything, in which case it makes perfect sense

Malaga Metaphors 
I like the way this alliterates, but are we talking of comparing things to Malaga, or vice versa? Or both? Answers and examples on a postcard, please …

Nostalgia Olympics sounds like a brilliant plan for the ageing population. The opening ceremony would feature huge inflatable Omo washing powder boxes and images of Victor Mature and Muffin the Mule. Izal streamers and Spangles would drop from the life size model of the Hindenburg hovering over the stadium, with commentary from Alvar Lidell and our old mate, Brian Matthew. Events would include the hundred-yard mangle dash, synchronised Status Quo shoulder thrusting, and split-screen camper van precision parking. The Paralympic version would simply involve sitting about and talking about the old times, with extra points awarded for clarity and detail. Although I suspect the medals might not be as good as they used to be, in principal it is an excellent scheme, and I commend it to the House.

As I sit upon my Self-improvement Sofa, I wonder whether understanding and knowledge stifle creativity. As I become more au fait with the wonders of the web, will such flights of fancy disappear, along with the fairies and dragons of childhood? I rather hope not.

But now I think I should go and get dressed. Today it is a little chilly and it is threatening to rain. I suppose you could say that it is not really underwear weather.